Friday, November 13, 2015

Almost knocked out by my knockers

I suppose that is a little misleading. Technically still accurate. Yesterday I was getting ready for work. I was putting on my bra. My hair has a tendency to get in the way when I hook my bra. So I did this little head swing to flip my hair out of the way. In my head it was that TV and movies really sexy move. In my real world it lead to me slamming my head into the door jam. Hard enough to make me see stars for a moment. Cue laughing and crying. I am a walking sitcom sight gag. As I sat on my bed waiting for the room to stop spinning I wondered what would have happened if I had knocked myself out. How long would I lay there? What would the animals do? How long before the cats decided I was food? What if I was alone? Fortunately Hubby was home. I can imagine that 911 call. I can imagine the dispatcher, "you found your wife unconscious on the floor?" Imagine telling the responders what happened. I hit my own head trying to put my bra on. Yeah right. Sounds like the I walked in to a door response to a black eye question. I mean I did it and I would probably not believe it could happen to anyone else. Add this to the list of things that can only happen to me. You know all those things that your brain decides to remind you of at 2:00 am when you are attempting sleep. Like the time 2 male co-workers asked if I would like breakfast. My answer? "No thanks. My husband ate me out this morning." Although the look on their faces was priceless, it was mortifying! In my defense my answer was a mix up in my early morning addled brain of "No thank you I already ate. My husband made me breakfast this morning." Or my attempt at greeting a customer, instead of saying "Welcome. Can I help you find anything." I said, well actually I enthusiastically almost yelled, "HI! I can help you find all the things!" Yes this late night listing can go on and on. Believing I am singularly the most awkward person on the planet. Only that is not exactly true. You should check out thebloggess  post here:  I am not alone! In fact there are more of us that are awkward than there are "normals"! Laughing with others about their foibles is the best medicine. We are all awesome! Never forget that. In fact reading the post and the twitters I laughed so hard I snorted. In public. *sigh* I'm amazing in my awkwardness. Feel free to share your amazing awkwardness! Awkwards UNITE!

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