Saturday, August 22, 2015
My mother was my rock. She was the one I called when things were good and when things were bad. She was able to always make things right. No matter what the issue. Her wisdom was, to me, endless. Same goes for Daddy. But I called him for different things. Usually car related. Momma was the fixer of all things. Now that she is gone I have no one to call to make things all better. I am dealing with that reality. Today it dawned on me that she is not just gone but she has passed that baton on to me. My adult son called me with a problem. I immediately went into MOM mode and began to analyze for a solution. Speaking in the same calm voice I have heard on the other end of a phone line so many times. It was natural. Just automatic to be the voice of comfort. Using my experience that things are never as bad as we think and that things usually do work themselves out. Guiding him to the possible paths we need to take to fix things. Letting him vent and cry and rant. Staying calm when I really want to go and beat up the ones who are causing my baby pain. How many times did Momma feel this way? How many times did she stay calm on the phone with me only to fall apart after I hung up? How many times did she cry? I am now the voice of reason. I am now MOM. I mean I have always been mom. I have raised my boys, taught them, laughed with them, and loved them. It never occurred to me that I would be MOM. Momma was going to always be there for me to call for solutions. Just like when the boys were babies and I would call her for help with them. She always had the answer. The solution to all boo boos and issues. Now I have to be MOM and rely on my own answers. Fortunately she taught me well. I listened. I learned. I am MOM.