Friday, May 30, 2014

New day. New anxiety.

I suppose since I am still in the midst of this depression episode I should really not be around people. My son's have been saying my filter is no longer working. No that is not true. My filter has been gone for quite a while now. Seriously. I find that I say things out loud that really should be contained in that thought bubble above my head. I don't mean to. It just happens. Example: in the store if I hear a child being loud or misbehaving I will say something. Out loud. To the embarrassment of my children. I would say Hubby gets embarrassed but he rarely hears me anyway. Never anything out right mean. Just something like, "that child needs a beating". No not really. I wouldn't say that. OK yes I would. I don't really mean it, I am against spanking. It is just something I say. See this is stuff my filter should catch. People can get really offended by that type of remark. You know those shoes with the wheels on them, Heelies. OOO I hate those things. When I see a kid zipping by, I think I wish I had some ball bearings to toss down. Not that I ever would, no one really wants a kid to fall or anything. I actually say out loud "ball bearings". Now this one makes me just sound crazy. That one is OK I suppose. There are a lot of people who think I am nuts anyway. I also find myself answering people who are talking way too loud on their cell phone in public. No one cares that you are wearing blue to the party or that so and so called you a bitch or whatever nonsense that they are blathering on about at top decibel. So I join their conversation. I mean if you didn't want me to comment on it you should not be talking so loud that I have no choice but to hear you, right? Again my filter should be catching this behavior. Nope, slips right through. Some people give me a nasty look. Some people realize that they are talking too loud. Some look at me like I'm the crazy one. Look honey, I'm not the one sharing my life with everyone in Target. On that topic, people who are nuts, why don't we give the crazies blue tooth thingies. That way they can be walking around talking to themselves and no one would notice. They will look like anyone in line at Starbucks. Of course the foil hats are a dead giveaway. So maybe not. These are the things that I think of during the day. Or the things that I think of at night right before I go to sleep. That and why can't I train my dog to go get me a cold water out of the fridge so I don't have to get up. You know the normal stuff.

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