Mary Mary quite contrary. This is my new mantra when dealing with my mother. For the uninitiated I shall relate some examples. We go to lunch once or twice a week. Where you ask. Marie Calendar's. Here is how the conversation usually goes: Me, "Where shall we go?" MMQC, "You know me I am easy, go where ever you want I can always find something to eat." Something is said in a half sigh half question. It is something she is very good at. So for the next 5 or 10 minutes we discuss different places we could go. Marie Calendar's it is! Again. When we are seated here is a sample of how the next discussion goes. MMQC, "What do you feel like today?" Me, "I think the sandwich sounds good, (or whatever the daily special is). What are you going to have?" MMQC will peruse the menu and mention many, many things until the waiter arrives. Here is where it gets fun! MMQC to waiter, "I think I will have the vegetable soup. But only if the veggies are crisp. I hate them to be mushy. I got them once and they were just awful." Now I mentioned that we go there 1 or 2 times a week. The staff KNOWS her and her penchant for "crispy" veggies, but she still has to tell them. One waiter upon seating us informed her that the soup was not as crispy as she would like so maybe she would like the vegetable platter! Her complaints are always a source of entertainment for us. The soup is too hot, too cold, too crisp, too mushy and my new all time favorite: TOO SOUPY. Yes I said it too soupy. Here are a few of our latest favorites. The chicken pot pie was too chickeny. Her frozen yogurt was too cold, in fact it was icy. She orders coffee and then lets it sit so she can complain it is now too cold. Just one day I know it will be too coffee-y. I drive too fast, too slow, too aggressive, too passive. I drive places the wrong way. If I go one way she will tell me how the other way is faster. If I go that way it is too dangerous because all the people are going too fast and are idiots. Finding the right parking place is almost impossible. I will save the grocery store adventures for another time.
A dear friend has suggested that MMQC is just messing with us. That she knows what she is doing and it is on purpose. Sadly I don't think so. I really think she is just contrary for contrary's sake.
I am now telling my Oldest, just wait. I am planning to be just like her! Or maybe not.