Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Good friends, broken hearts, and loss
I have a dear friend who has been in a rocky relationship for a while. I love her like a sister so I am biased and protective. Her fiance is horrible. He has cheated on her repeatedly. Once while she was pregnant. He is an alcoholic with 2 DUIs. He does a variety of drugs off and on. He lies. He gambles. He has even been physical with her. And yet she holds on. In any other situation she is level headed and brilliant. In this one she is, well, stupid. Matters of the heart make us do things we think we would never do! I know. I have been there. Most of us have. I didn't understand how hard it was on the friends on the outside. How stupid they thought I was. Now looking back on some of those I agree. On others I would most likely do the same things again. How can one emotion make us behave so abnormally? Love is so amazing when it is good. It can even be amazing when it is bad. I think we women put up with so much more due to our capacity to love or "over love". We will overlook so many things because we love him or he loves us. The worst ones we will hear about on a news report. Sadly sometimes we overlook too much and it can cause more than a broken heart, it can cause a stopped heart. Permanently. Why do we give our power away so easily because someone loves us? Especially when that love is not a positive in our life? How do we reach someone in that situation? I don't know. When a tragedy does happen we hear those who tried to help saying what else could they have done. I don't know. Do we need to start with our daughters when they are infants? How do we make sure they are confident enough to walk away from the wrong guys? Or keep them from the wrong guys in the first place? I don't know. I see my wonderful, gorgeous, brilliant friend struggle with this and I wonder why. I hope and pray I will not be that friend wondering what else I could have done.