Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Crazy Purse Lady
Dear lady at Kohl's I am not crazy. Well not in the "we the jury find the defendant" kind of crazy. Just having a moment. I need a new wallet. And a purse. And they have to match. I had some of that cash stuff from there and decided to see what they had in the way of wallets and purses. I was just wandering around the purses. Talking to myself as usual. No that isn't why she thought I was crazy. One minute I am comparing shades of pink on a wallet and purse, the next I am crying. Purses were a Momma and me thing. We would always hit the purses wherever we shopped. Before Penney's went all weird on us, that was the best place to look. And sometimes buy. OK most times buy. Purses and matching wallets were the holy grail. When we would go shopping or to lunch, her purse and shoes had to match. Sometimes she would change shoes, sometimes her purse. After Momma fell, if I bought a new purse or wallet, or both I would head right over to show her. We would look at it and see how many pockets it had or didn't have. Sometimes I would walk in and before I even greeted her she would notice it! I was thinking about going to the house and looking through her collection for a wallet, but I was afraid it would be too much for me. Who knew it wasn't the place I was looking but the act of looking that would get to me. So now I am standing in the store holding a wallet and crying. Sniffling. Looking in my purse for a tissue. Of all the stuff in my purse a tissue was non existent. What a sight I was. I was not alone in the purse department. There was another woman looking around. She kept glancing at me as I was having my moment. I briefly toyed with the idea of loudly lamenting the colors were not a match. "It is just not pink enough!" You want crazy I can give you crazy! I managed to pull it together and pick out a purse and wallet. They don't match, by the way. I checked out and headed for my car. Where I promptly fell apart. Sobbing. Not caring about the people walking by. On the drive home I grabbed a tissue to wipe my eyes. Unfortunately it was one I had blown my very runny nose on. Wiped my eyes with snot. Nice. Then I started to laugh. Now the crazy lady is crying and laughing. With really shiny eye lids. Momma would have thought that was hysterical. And gross. And very me. Now I have a new purse and wallet, that don't match. Should I keep them? Maybe. Returning them could be an adventure. I wonder if my picture is on a wall somewhere. Beware crazy purse lady. Ironically that is what I would call Momma while waiting for her to match her purse and shoes. I will wear that moniker proudly.